I’m reaching out for urgent support following a distressing incident that Jaxon’s school reported to us today. Staff have advised me that after returning from the toilet, he suddenly stood up, put his hand down the back of his pants, pulled out a handful of poo, and put it in his mouth before they could intervene. eeeek!
This has never been seen or reported before, but reflecting on it now, I realise there have been a few recent occasions at home where I’ve noticed what looked like poo marks on his tops — and I’m now questioning whether this behaviour may have already started happening here too.
I would so appreciate any support, strategies, or guidance you can offer to help us address this with urgency if we can – but of couse successfully being the utlimate goal!
Answer:
FIRST TAKE A DEEP BREATH, everything will be ok. This is a good sign that we need to get potty train done ASAP, he is ready 😉 Where is he with his potty training? Do we have data on when poops happen?
Children with autism engage in behaviors for a reason, not at random. Even shocking behaviors like fecal smearing or mouthing serve a purpose to the child most often sensory, attention, or communication.
So I know this was traumatic, but we will solve it. FIrst we need to focus on function and response. If you haven't already you need to download and review the Autism Mom's Survival Guide to Problem Behaviors. It's in the Study Vault and in the FIles Section of the facebook. I want you to get familiar with the 5 functions of behavior and how to collect ABC Data.
Here’s What to Do Right Now:
1. Start Tracking Data ASAP
Write down:
-When it happened (time of day)
-Where it happened (location/context)
-What happened right before (Was he asked to do something? Just returned from the bathroom?)
-What happened right after (Did he get attention? Get removed from the room? Laughed at?)
You'll have to ask the school from now on to not just report this behavior but get you the ABC data around any incidents. Share with them the guide..so they can read on how to collect the data.
We’re collecting ABC data (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence) to identify the function behind it.
2. Assess Medical
Is Jaxon constipated?
Has he been withholding poop or straining?
Any signs of GI discomfort or gut imbalance?
If yes, might be good to get him checked by his doctor. Constipation and poop withholding can trigger unusual poop behaviors, especially if passing stool becomes painful.
3. Address Sensory + Mouthing
Since this behavior involved putting feces in his mouth, we need to:
Immediately replace the behavior with a safe sensory alternative:
Chewy tubes, vibrating toothbrushes, crunchy or cold snacks, frozen sponges
Items that meet the same sensory craving without danger
He may be craving input in his mouth, so we need to give him something that’s not poop.
4. Reinforce Hygiene and Routine
Add a visual schedule for bathroom trips
Add rewards after successful clean bathroom trips (sticker, token, praise)
Prompt hand washing and mouth rinsing after every trip, regardless of the behavior to recondition the routine.
Reinforce “clean hands stay out of pants” with a visual or social story - I just to call them hiney hands... and she knew that hands stay out the pants or she has to go and wash for 30s... -1 minute, that was enough to deter my daughter from doing this.
5. Keep Your Response Calm, Not Emotional
Even though this is alarming, our job is to block the behavior safely without big reactions. Big reactions even shocked ones can accidentally reinforce the behavior if Jaxon is seeking attention.
Say - “Poop stays in the toilet. Mouth is for food.”
And calmly move him through a clean-up routine with minimal emotion.
If It Happens Again:
Block the hand before it goes to the mouth (if possible).
Move him straight to the sink.
Use gloves if needed. Stay calm. Go robotic.
What Success Looks Like:
Success isn’t never seeing this again tomorrow. It’s:
Seeing fewer attempts
Seeing shorter durations
Seeing Jaxon use safe alternatives
Seeing you stay calm and consistent
Behavior change is a process, I know this sucks, but just stay calm I got you! xoxo
Let me know if you have any questions.
FIRST TAKE A DEEP BREATH, everything will be ok. This is a good sign that we need to get potty train done ASAP, he is ready 😉 Where is he with his potty training? Do we have data on when poops happen?
Children with autism engage in behaviors for a reason, not at random. Even shocking behaviors like fecal smearing or mouthing serve a purpose to the child most often sensory, attention, or communication.
So I know this was traumatic, but we will solve it. FIrst we need to focus on function and response. If you haven’t already you need to download and review the Autism Mom’s Survival Guide to Problem Behaviors. It’s in the Study Vault and in the FIles Section of the facebook. I want you to get familiar with the 5 functions of behavior and how to collect ABC Data.
Here’s What to Do Right Now:
1. Start Tracking Data ASAP
Write down:
-When it happened (time of day)
-Where it happened (location/context)
-What happened right before (Was he asked to do something? Just returned from the bathroom?)
-What happened right after (Did he get attention? Get removed from the room? Laughed at?)
You’ll have to ask the school from now on to not just report this behavior but get you the ABC data around any incidents. Share with them the guide..so they can read on how to collect the data.
We’re collecting ABC data (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence) to identify the function behind it.
2. Assess Medical
Is Jaxon constipated?
Has he been withholding poop or straining?
Any signs of GI discomfort or gut imbalance?
If yes, might be good to get him checked by his doctor. Constipation and poop withholding can trigger unusual poop behaviors, especially if passing stool becomes painful.
3. Address Sensory + Mouthing
Since this behavior involved putting feces in his mouth, we need to:
Immediately replace the behavior with a safe sensory alternative:
Chewy tubes, vibrating toothbrushes, crunchy or cold snacks, frozen sponges
Items that meet the same sensory craving without danger
He may be craving input in his mouth, so we need to give him something that’s not poop.
4. Reinforce Hygiene and Routine
Add a visual schedule for bathroom trips
Add rewards after successful clean bathroom trips (sticker, token, praise)
Prompt hand washing and mouth rinsing after every trip, regardless of the behavior to recondition the routine.
Reinforce “clean hands stay out of pants” with a visual or social story – I just to call them hiney hands… and she knew that hands stay out the pants or she has to go and wash for 30s… -1 minute, that was enough to deter my daughter from doing this.
5. Keep Your Response Calm, Not Emotional
Even though this is alarming, our job is to block the behavior safely without big reactions. Big reactions even shocked ones can accidentally reinforce the behavior if Jaxon is seeking attention.
Say – “Poop stays in the toilet. Mouth is for food.”
And calmly move him through a clean-up routine with minimal emotion.
If It Happens Again:
Block the hand before it goes to the mouth (if possible).
Move him straight to the sink.
Use gloves if needed. Stay calm. Go robotic.
What Success Looks Like:
Success isn’t never seeing this again tomorrow. It’s:
Seeing fewer attempts
Seeing shorter durations
Seeing Jaxon use safe alternatives
Seeing you stay calm and consistent
Behavior change is a process, I know this sucks, but just stay calm I got you! xoxo
Let me know if you have any questions.
thanks Michelle!! man – you talked me off the ledge defo. I went from 0-100000% times more stressed in an instant!!
have read the guide, makes sense/I think its most likely sensory. He’s never responded well to chew toys or things that go in his mouth, but i might try doing some fidgets or similar – or maybe even something chewy he can eat right after he goes to the toilet (although that isn’t high desire really).
It’s school holidays just hit here, and he goes to Holiday Programme for next 2 weeks (2 different ones), i’m hopeful they will be able to support us. Keen on your steer on this, we were going to send him in underwear not pullups, they are okay with this, but should i pull back given this new situation? or – maybe its the perfect time? he has 1:1 care at both places.
how has he been. with potty training at the home? 80% or better? can we send in a solid reward system if he goes at school etc?
He’s been doing really well at home for wee only! we are about 95% of the way there – no wee accidents at home for a couple of weeks now! and he is taking himself. It’s poo that is still the problem, I have a couple of medical appointments for him to rule out anything medical but he bascially isn’t doing a full bowel movement at all.