Our 4 year old autistic daughter is triggered when her baby brother says “Mama”, she will cry out and cling to us, what can we do to address this? Thank you
Answer:
When your 4-year-old melts down because her baby brother says “Mama,” what she’s really showing you is this is hard for me when I hear his voice and I don’t know what else to do.
Crying and clinging is communication until we teach her a better way. The only way to make this stop is not reward the crying.
If it's attention seeking behavior I also think ok, I want to give her attention when she's doing stuff good. GOOD JOB SITTING EATING LUNCH. GOOD JOB HUGGING YOUR BROTHER, stuff like that.
Here’s how you can start shifting it:
Figure out the WHY. Most likely she’s looking for your attention and doesn’t know how to share you. The sound of her brother saying “Mama” just sets that off. (SEE LINK BELOW TO PROBLEM BEHAVIOR GUIDE)
Give her another way. Instead of crying, teach her a quick script like “My turn Mama” or even a hand signal. Every single time she tries it, you stop and give her the hug or attention she’s after.
Practice when it’s calm. Role-play it. Have the baby say “Mama,” then prompt her to use the script or signal. The second she does, reinforce it big, cuddles, praise, maybe even a small treat if needed.
Build tolerance. Pair “Mama” with something good for her. Start with one quick exposure and reward her for holding it together, then slowly increase.
Stay consistent. If sometimes she gets attention for crying and sometimes for asking the right way, she’ll keep doing both. Only pay off the skill you’re teaching.
Take a look at this guide when you get a chance, it will help: https://michellebrogers.com/courses/the-autism-moms-survival-guide-to-problem-behaviors-guide/
Let me know if this is helpful.
When your 4-year-old melts down because her baby brother says “Mama,” what she’s really showing you is this is hard for me when I hear his voice and I don’t know what else to do.
Crying and clinging is communication until we teach her a better way. The only way to make this stop is not reward the crying.
If it’s attention seeking behavior I also think ok, I want to give her attention when she’s doing stuff good. GOOD JOB SITTING EATING LUNCH. GOOD JOB HUGGING YOUR BROTHER, stuff like that.
Here’s how you can start shifting it:
Figure out the WHY. Most likely she’s looking for your attention and doesn’t know how to share you. The sound of her brother saying “Mama” just sets that off. (SEE LINK BELOW TO PROBLEM BEHAVIOR GUIDE)
Give her another way. Instead of crying, teach her a quick script like “My turn Mama” or even a hand signal. Every single time she tries it, you stop and give her the hug or attention she’s after.
Practice when it’s calm. Role-play it. Have the baby say “Mama,” then prompt her to use the script or signal. The second she does, reinforce it big, cuddles, praise, maybe even a small treat if needed.
Build tolerance. Pair “Mama” with something good for her. Start with one quick exposure and reward her for holding it together, then slowly increase.
Stay consistent. If sometimes she gets attention for crying and sometimes for asking the right way, she’ll keep doing both. Only pay off the skill you’re teaching.
Take a look at this guide when you get a chance, it will help: https://michellebrogers.com/courses/the-autism-moms-survival-guide-to-problem-behaviors-guide/
Let me know if this is helpful.