Hi,
So Joshua is a 6 year old nonverbal autistic boy who eats a limited diet bc he is picky. I am currently desensitizing him to vegetable and fruits. We started with bananas. He tolerates it on his plate. He touches it when prompted. He will not kiss it. I ask him easy steps then tell him to do the hard task of kissing it or smelling it and he refuses. How long do I keep this up? What else can I do?
Tiffanie
Answer:
Hi Tiffanie,
You’re doing a lot right already, you’ve got him tolerating it on the plate, touching it, and that’s progress. Most parents stop before that level of success, so give yourself credit.
Now, here’s where we tighten it up. When a child refuses to smell or kiss, it usually means the step size is still too big. You’re asking for a “jump” instead of a “hop.” Before kissing or smelling, add micro-steps like:
“Bring it near your face.”
“Tap it to your chin.”
“Touch nose for one second.”
Reinforce every single approximation like it’s gold. Don’t move up until that level becomes easy and refusal-free. That could take days and that's ok and that’s normal. The goal isn’t speed, it’s comfort and trust.
Also, make sure the reinforcer for doing the “hard task” is immediate and high value. If he loves something specific, iPad, gummy, video clip, that reward needs to hit within 2 seconds of success. The brain has to connect “I did the thing → I got the thing.”
How long do you keep this up? As long as it takes for him to succeed at one step consistently before moving to the next. If he refuses more than half the time, the demand is too high. Scale it back.
And lastly, remember, desensitizing is the job, not “getting him to eat it” right now. Eating comes later, after dozens of successful, reinforced exposures without pressure.
Keep going. You’re building tolerance, trust, and the foundation for tasting, and that’s everything.
If you haven't watched picky eater protocol, check it out. I show a testing session in real time: https://michellebrogers.com/autism-mommys-pickyeater-workshop/
xo Michelle
Hi Tiffanie,
You’re doing a lot right already, you’ve got him tolerating it on the plate, touching it, and that’s progress. Most parents stop before that level of success, so give yourself credit.
Now, here’s where we tighten it up. When a child refuses to smell or kiss, it usually means the step size is still too big. You’re asking for a “jump” instead of a “hop.” Before kissing or smelling, add micro-steps like:
“Bring it near your face.”
“Tap it to your chin.”
“Touch nose for one second.”
Reinforce every single approximation like it’s gold. Don’t move up until that level becomes easy and refusal-free. That could take days and that’s ok and that’s normal. The goal isn’t speed, it’s comfort and trust.
Also, make sure the reinforcer for doing the “hard task” is immediate and high value. If he loves something specific, iPad, gummy, video clip, that reward needs to hit within 2 seconds of success. The brain has to connect “I did the thing → I got the thing.”
How long do you keep this up? As long as it takes for him to succeed at one step consistently before moving to the next. If he refuses more than half the time, the demand is too high. Scale it back.
And lastly, remember, desensitizing is the job, not “getting him to eat it” right now. Eating comes later, after dozens of successful, reinforced exposures without pressure.
Keep going. You’re building tolerance, trust, and the foundation for tasting, and that’s everything.
If you haven’t watched picky eater protocol, check it out. I show a testing session in real time: https://michellebrogers.com/autism-mommys-pickyeater-workshop/
xo Michelle