Hello, I am grandma to a 2.5 yr old boy and his one yr old sister. He is communicating verbally, has a large vocabulary (50% understood) and is able to communicate needs (desired of course). My main concern is sleep and meltdowns.
My grandson sleeps less than 4-5 hrs nightly. He awakens screaming and it takes over 1/2 hr-hr to help him calm down, only to want to play with his cars and not wanting to go to bed again.
Please provide some guidance about sleep and handling meltdowns
He is eating reasonably well but are there any vitamins he should be taking?
thank you!
Answer:
Apologize for the late response, we were having technical difficulty with the Ask A Coach Platform.
What you’re describing is a bad sleep habit that has been learned, not something he can’t control and not something that will resolve on its own.
Right now the pattern is:
Wake up → scream → adult comes in → gets to play
From his brain’s point of view, waking up at night is working. So he keeps doing it.
This habit needs to be broken, and that means the adults need to be prepared for 1–2 uncomfortable nights while the pattern resets.
The method I use for situations like this
This is very similar to the Supernanny approach. It’s behavioral, simple, and effective when done consistently.
Here is a video you can watch that shows the method in detail: https://youtu.be/so6cfZGRgbs?si=3DCcvYRODS-IXs3O
During the day
Make it very clear: “Nighttime is for sleeping. Cars are for the daytime.”
At night, when he wakes
Go in calmly
Keep lights dim
Use very few words
No toys
No playing
Help him calm, then right back to bed
You can say something simple like:
“It’s nighttime. Time to sleep.”
Then you leave.
If he gets up again, you just don't make eye contact, you don't say anything again.. and you put him back to bed. No eye contact, no talking nothing.
Why consistency matters
If even one night turns into playtime, the habit is reinforced and you start over. That’s why everyone involved has to respond the same way.
This is not punishment. It’s removing the payoff.
Meltdowns
A 2.5-year-old sleeping only 4–5 hours is overtired. An overtired child will have more meltdowns. Fixing sleep often improves daytime behavior without adding anything else.
Bottom line
This is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned.
Expect a couple of rough nights. Hold the line. Stay calm. Stay boring.
When night waking no longer leads to play, the behavior fades.
This is very fixable, but only if the adults are more consistent than the child.
Apologize for the late response, we were having technical difficulty with the Ask A Coach Platform.
What you’re describing is a bad sleep habit that has been learned, not something he can’t control and not something that will resolve on its own.
Right now the pattern is:
Wake up → scream → adult comes in → gets to play
From his brain’s point of view, waking up at night is working. So he keeps doing it.
This habit needs to be broken, and that means the adults need to be prepared for 1–2 uncomfortable nights while the pattern resets.
The method I use for situations like this
This is very similar to the Supernanny approach. It’s behavioral, simple, and effective when done consistently.
Here is a video you can watch that shows the method in detail: https://youtu.be/so6cfZGRgbs?si=3DCcvYRODS-IXs3O
During the day
Make it very clear: “Nighttime is for sleeping. Cars are for the daytime.”
At night, when he wakes
Go in calmly
Keep lights dim
Use very few words
No toys
No playing
Help him calm, then right back to bed
You can say something simple like:
“It’s nighttime. Time to sleep.”
Then you leave.
If he gets up again, you just don’t make eye contact, you don’t say anything again.. and you put him back to bed. No eye contact, no talking nothing.
Why consistency matters
If even one night turns into playtime, the habit is reinforced and you start over. That’s why everyone involved has to respond the same way.
This is not punishment. It’s removing the payoff.
Meltdowns
A 2.5-year-old sleeping only 4–5 hours is overtired. An overtired child will have more meltdowns. Fixing sleep often improves daytime behavior without adding anything else.
Bottom line
This is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned.
Expect a couple of rough nights. Hold the line. Stay calm. Stay boring.
When night waking no longer leads to play, the behavior fades.
This is very fixable, but only if the adults are more consistent than the child.