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Michelle B. Rogers
Autism Mom, Life Coach

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Wants to pee outside

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I came into this program with an already potty trained kid, but tonight she is literally sobbing in the bathroom because we caught her trying to pee outside in the yard and picked her up and took her into the bathroom. She ‘s locked herself in (we have a key, that’s not a problem) and when I ask her why she doesn’t want to pee in the toilet all she’ll say is she wants to “pee on the plants.” I asked if she’d like to water the plants instead and she said “no.” We have been cleaning out my Grandfathers house the last two weeks and I know she went outside at least once or twice (I’m guessing because she didn’t know where the potty was even though she can ask me) so maybe it’s just a new thing she’s discovered? She can talk, but not quiet enough to really explain herself so I have no idea how to handle this!

Answer:

Thank you for your question! This is one of those questions that I promise you we are going to laugh about in a few years! The short answer here is that as long as you stick to your guns and do not let her pee outside, she will get over this in a few days and move on to something else. BUT this is a great teaching opportunity for her, as well. I do not know how old she is so you can tweak this advice based on her ability level and what you think would work best for her, but if she continues to bring up the topic of peeing outside I would wait until she is calm and have a conversation about it in whatever terms you think she would best understand. Definitely do NOT try to have a full conversation when she is upset, but wait until maybe an hour later or the next day and start with something along the lines of, "Let's talk about what was upsetting you last night." Key talking points would be:
- Appropriate places to go potty (bathroom at home, bathroom at school, etc.)
- What to do when we don't know where the potty is (ask a grown up)
- Why we should not pee on plants ("pee pee can kill plants")
- What makes plants grow (water, sunlight, etc.)
- What we can do when we are upset (ex. take deep breaths, ask to take a break, go for a walk, etc.)
I think offering for her to water the plants is a great idea. Maybe you can even get her her own small special plant for outside that it can be her job to water everyday! Let us know how it goes either in your next Zoom call or on "Ask a Coach." Good luck!

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184 thoughts on “Wants to pee outside”

  1. Coach

    Thank you for your question! This is one of those questions that I promise you we are going to laugh about in a few years! The short answer here is that as long as you stick to your guns and do not let her pee outside, she will get over this in a few days and move on to something else. BUT this is a great teaching opportunity for her, as well. I do not know how old she is so you can tweak this advice based on her ability level and what you think would work best for her, but if she continues to bring up the topic of peeing outside I would wait until she is calm and have a conversation about it in whatever terms you think she would best understand. Definitely do NOT try to have a full conversation when she is upset, but wait until maybe an hour later or the next day and start with something along the lines of, “Let’s talk about what was upsetting you last night.” Key talking points would be:
    – Appropriate places to go potty (bathroom at home, bathroom at school, etc.)
    – What to do when we don’t know where the potty is (ask a grown up)
    – Why we should not pee on plants (“pee pee can kill plants”)
    – What makes plants grow (water, sunlight, etc.)
    – What we can do when we are upset (ex. take deep breaths, ask to take a break, go for a walk, etc.)
    I think offering for her to water the plants is a great idea. Maybe you can even get her her own small special plant for outside that it can be her job to water everyday! Let us know how it goes either in your next Zoom call or on “Ask a Coach.” Good luck!

    Reply
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