What do you want to focus on?

I recently had a father tell me he wanted to leave my program early because his son did not progress like he had hoped.

Dad’s main goals were a fully Potty Trained and Communicating child. When he joined his son was in diapers and was not saying any words.

In a matter of a few months in my program, his son was fully potty trained, repeating words, and starting to use some functionally.

But every time dad came to the coaching calls, instead of celebrating how far his son had come, his mood was down, he was complaining about how long it was taking, obsessing on what he didn’t have, and looking for more “tactical things to do”.

Dad kept saying… “We should be further along”.

Every minute of every day we can make a choice on what we want to focus on. It’s either…

“What you have.”

“What’s Missing.”

You can focus on…

“What you can control.”

“What you can’t.”

Wherever your focus is on daily is creating the emotions in your body.

These emotions dictate the level of power in the action (or inaction) you take to help your child thrive.

You have a choice every minute of every day to focus on the shit or focus on the blessings.

This child had gained skills other families could only dream of for their children, but because his father’s focus was stuck on what he didn’t have, he couldn’t appreciate what he did have.

No matter where you are in your Autism Journey, you get to decide how you want to feel about your baby.

You can learn their language of behavior and teach them anything and at the same time celebrate the fuck out of every win that brings you closer to the finish line in the process.

or…

You can white knuckle through the tactical things to do, all the while hating every minute of it wishing your life was different.

When my daughter was diagnosed with Autism I was pissed at God.

I thought he wrecked my perfect girl.

In time my thinking evolved to believe that he was challenging me and – still pissed – I said: “we don’t have to like each other but could we work in parallel here?”

Then I CHOSE to believe that Autism was sent to me as a gift from God.

I was to learn how to teach and heal my baby girl.

And…

I was to take that experience and help other parents do the same for their children.