A month or so ago we brought out the Monopoly board game for the first time in a while.
Julianna is super competitive and loves to play games to win (not sure where she got that from
Back when we first started turn taking games she wasn’t the best at it.
If she was winning she’d rub it in other players faces, and when she lost she was a sore loser.
Quit mid game if it wasn’t going her way. Sometimes during the game she’d throw the game pieces and she’d cry.
After several rounds of Monopoly, Guess Who, SORRY, UNO, LIFE, hot potato, musical chairs, etc. she became a better sport.
She’d tell you “good game” if she lost and was a gracious winner if she won.
Summer came with lots of outdoor fun in the sun.
Yesterday for the first time in a while we all decided to play Monopoly.
As I was rolling the dice she counted the few dollars she had left, burst into tears and ran off.
Regression.
I bet you know this feeling all too well. You might be thinking:
”Why after countless months of practicing did she lose what she had?”
You might want to think …”This is Autism.” and be angry at the hand you’ve been dealt.
Truth of the matter is regression happens in all children.
Think “This is Autism”, we are setting ourselves and our children up for unnecessary suffering.
Somewhere along the line someone in the Autism community coined Regression as Death.
Probably because to be diagnosed with Autism, most of our kids had skills like eye contact, pointing or talking, and then lost them.
Then that led to the Autism Diagnosis.
To watch your child’s skills disappear or not progress at all and then be diagnosed with Autism, something we might not fully understand, is a trauma in itself.
It would make sense that our brains made a deep neural pathway between regression and autism and that it’s a bad thing.
In actuality regression is a part of life for all people, especially children, and including neuro-typical children.
Teach the skill again, generalize it in their environment and most times the skill is back for good.
We start to believe the thought “Regression is Death”, we are also saying that “Autism is Death” because we’ve connected the 2.
Don’t believe regression is a normal part of childhood, you might want to give up on re-teaching the skill they lost or WORSE start thinking you are trying to fight something going uphill and stop teaching your child altogether.
”They can’t keep a skill, then why bother teaching it to begin with.”
Also when that happens you now believe that ….
Sometimes regression happens it will always happen.”
CHOOSE to believe that, it will lead you and your child down a road of no progress that has nothing to do with “regression” and everything to do with you quitting on your kid.
One of the POSITIVES I believe comes with having a child with Autism is you get lots of experience teaching them all these skills.
The more skills you teach (I call them running programs) for things like trying new foods, playing games, Potty Training, Communicating etc., the more accustomed and open their brains are to that way of learning.
AND the better, faster you are at teaching them.
Believe in your ability to solve for anything, when a regression happens, you’ve built your arsenal of tools to get back on track and it’s not big thing.
Next time your son refuses the broccoli that he’d happily eat 2 weeks ago…
or… your daughter won’t let you put her hair in the ponytail style that she used to love….
Instead of feeling like “this is Autism” and spiral…
Pause, take a deep breath and just put back the strategies in place that got those skills mastered in the first place.
Not only will you never be a victim of the “Regression” but your child will get back the skills faster than the first time you teached it.
xo Michelle
P.S. If you are struggling to teach your child with Autism, this is what I do all day every day.
Book a Consultation Call here so I can hear all about your baby and we can see if you are a good fit for my program.
P.P.S. – Shout out to Kacie that in a little under a month in the Masterclass her daughter Michaela is now potty trained at school as well as home:
