Hi
Reese ( 5 yo) refuses to wear underwear . I think this will help with the potty training but she screams and throws the underwear and says pull up ! Should I push it ? She is still on step 1 of potty training .Thank you
Kathy
Answer:
We talked last night.. gently reintroduce the undies.
Right now, Reese is screaming at the sight of underwear. That tells me we've got some work to do before we ever try to put it on her. So the first goal isn't "wear underwear", it's neutrality. We want underwear to go from "terrifying thing that signals something I don't want" to "no big deal."
Here's how you get there:
Start making underwear the coolest thing on the planet. Casually mention yours. "Oh my gosh, I love my undies today, they're so soft!" Take her down the underwear aisle at Target just to look. No pressure, no agenda. Just exposure.
Desensitize in steps, and reward each one. Leave a pack of underwear on the kitchen counter. On the fridge. On a shelf. It's just... there. Once she's not reacting to seeing it, reward her for looking at it for three seconds. Then touching it with one finger. Then picking it up. Then one leg in, pull-up stays on, we're just building reps. Each step gets a reward.
No screaming = reward. Screaming = no reward. She screams when she sees it, we calmly put it away. No big reaction, no engagement. Boring. Not worth it.
You are NOT behind. You are exactly where you need to be. She's sitting on the potty, she's tolerating the process, and she even peed once, that is HUGE progress for Step 1. We fix the underwear, then we talk about your potty intensive.
Keep me posted! — Michelle
We talked last night.. gently reintroduce the undies.
Right now, Reese is screaming at the sight of underwear. That tells me we’ve got some work to do before we ever try to put it on her. So the first goal isn’t “wear underwear”, it’s neutrality. We want underwear to go from “terrifying thing that signals something I don’t want” to “no big deal.”
Here’s how you get there:
Start making underwear the coolest thing on the planet. Casually mention yours. “Oh my gosh, I love my undies today, they’re so soft!” Take her down the underwear aisle at Target just to look. No pressure, no agenda. Just exposure.
Desensitize in steps, and reward each one. Leave a pack of underwear on the kitchen counter. On the fridge. On a shelf. It’s just… there. Once she’s not reacting to seeing it, reward her for looking at it for three seconds. Then touching it with one finger. Then picking it up. Then one leg in, pull-up stays on, we’re just building reps. Each step gets a reward.
No screaming = reward. Screaming = no reward. She screams when she sees it, we calmly put it away. No big reaction, no engagement. Boring. Not worth it.
You are NOT behind. You are exactly where you need to be. She’s sitting on the potty, she’s tolerating the process, and she even peed once, that is HUGE progress for Step 1. We fix the underwear, then we talk about your potty intensive.
Keep me posted! — Michelle