I’m trying to get Reese to at least touch the underwear . All she does is scream and throw them. I am telling her she will get a prize if she just touches the underwear and she screams . How do I move on from here?
Thank you
Kathy Peterson
Answer:
Hey Kathy! Okay, I want you to take a breath because you're not doing anything wrong. You just went one step too fast, and that's an easy fix.
Here's what's happening: we asked Reese to touch the underwear before she's even neutral around it. Screaming is still working for her, it makes the underwear go away. So before we ask her to do anything with it, we have to make the screaming not worth it anymore.
Back up with me. Here's the sequence:
Don't ask her to touch it yet. Put the underwear somewhere in the room, on the counter, on a shelf and just leave it there. Don't say a word about it. If she doesn't scream, she gets a reward.
That's the whole job right now. Exist near the underwear without losing it.
Check your reward. When she screams and you're offering a prize and she still screams, that prize is not a 10. What is her absolute favorite thing right now? That's what we need on the table. A 5 or 6 motivator is not going to beat a behavior that's been working for her. We need a 10.
Screaming = nothing happens. No eye contact, no engagement, no big reaction from you. Calmly put the underwear away and walk away. Boring. Not worth the energy. We are making screaming the least effective tool in her toolbox.
Once she can be in the same room without screaming, then we go back to the touch challenge. Not before.
I also love praising others who engage with the underwear and rewarding them in front of her.. Not talking to her.. no attention to her.. just praising and rewarding others who engage with it.
You just need to zoom out one step. She'll get there. Keep me posted!
Hey Kathy! Okay, I want you to take a breath because you’re not doing anything wrong. You just went one step too fast, and that’s an easy fix.
Here’s what’s happening: we asked Reese to touch the underwear before she’s even neutral around it. Screaming is still working for her, it makes the underwear go away. So before we ask her to do anything with it, we have to make the screaming not worth it anymore.
Back up with me. Here’s the sequence:
Don’t ask her to touch it yet. Put the underwear somewhere in the room, on the counter, on a shelf and just leave it there. Don’t say a word about it. If she doesn’t scream, she gets a reward.
That’s the whole job right now. Exist near the underwear without losing it.
Check your reward. When she screams and you’re offering a prize and she still screams, that prize is not a 10. What is her absolute favorite thing right now? That’s what we need on the table. A 5 or 6 motivator is not going to beat a behavior that’s been working for her. We need a 10.
Screaming = nothing happens. No eye contact, no engagement, no big reaction from you. Calmly put the underwear away and walk away. Boring. Not worth the energy. We are making screaming the least effective tool in her toolbox.
Once she can be in the same room without screaming, then we go back to the touch challenge. Not before.
I also love praising others who engage with the underwear and rewarding them in front of her.. Not talking to her.. no attention to her.. just praising and rewarding others who engage with it.
You just need to zoom out one step. She’ll get there. Keep me posted!