My son, Leon, is 7 years old and started wearing underwear on May 30. Since then, he has never had an accident at night and has only had two daytime accidents, both when he was very excited and playing outside.
However, we’re still working on bowel training. When he needs to poop, he often tries to hide in a closet instead of going to the bathroom. By the time he does make it to the toilet, it’s usually too late. He also seems to have multiple small bowel movements throughout the day rather than one complete one, which makes me wonder if he could be constipated, possibly due to his limited eating habits.
How can I best support him with this? How can I help him understand that instead of hiding, he needs to go to the restroom when he feels the urge?
Answer:
EXCELLENT START FOR LEON!! Great job mom!
Bowel training is a different beast, and we need to approach it separately.
Here's what we're going to do:
STEP 1: COLLECT TIMING DATA
For the next 5-7 days, track when Leon has bowel movements. Write down the time of day, what he ate before, where he was. We're looking for patterns, is there a time of day he's more likely to go? Is it after meals? After certain foods? This data tells us when he's most vulnerable to hiding.
STEP 2: CREATE A BM-SPECIFIC REWARD SYSTEM
Don't lump BMs in with pee rewards, lets make them different. Set up a separate, higher-value reward just for BMs in the toilet. Make it worth his while. This is the big goal.
Keep the pee rewards going at their current level, don't lose that momentum.
STEP 3: SET UP THE ENVIRONMENT SO HE CAN'T HIDE
This is key. When you know from your data that he's likely to need to go (after breakfast, after lunch, etc.), position yourself nearby. Have him use the bathroom with the door open or with you present. Make hiding impossible, not through punishment, but through proximity and structure.
Once you have the timing data, we'll lock in a reward schedule and a game plan for those high-probability times.
Send me your data when you've got it.
Good work so far! Michelle
EXCELLENT START FOR LEON!! Great job mom!
Bowel training is a different beast, and we need to approach it separately.
Here’s what we’re going to do:
STEP 1: COLLECT TIMING DATA
For the next 5-7 days, track when Leon has bowel movements. Write down the time of day, what he ate before, where he was. We’re looking for patterns, is there a time of day he’s more likely to go? Is it after meals? After certain foods? This data tells us when he’s most vulnerable to hiding.
STEP 2: CREATE A BM-SPECIFIC REWARD SYSTEM
Don’t lump BMs in with pee rewards, lets make them different. Set up a separate, higher-value reward just for BMs in the toilet. Make it worth his while. This is the big goal.
Keep the pee rewards going at their current level, don’t lose that momentum.
STEP 3: SET UP THE ENVIRONMENT SO HE CAN’T HIDE
This is key. When you know from your data that he’s likely to need to go (after breakfast, after lunch, etc.), position yourself nearby. Have him use the bathroom with the door open or with you present. Make hiding impossible, not through punishment, but through proximity and structure.
Once you have the timing data, we’ll lock in a reward schedule and a game plan for those high-probability times.
Send me your data when you’ve got it.
Good work so far! Michelle