Are You Protecting Yourself from Hope?

You Don’t Get to the Goal Without Missing the Shot

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This may come as a surprise, but potty training my own kids wasn’t my finest moment. ​
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I used to describe it to friends and family as “the worst part of parenting”—and that was exactly the experience I had.

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I remember really struggling to let go of pull-ups with Julianna.
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She was preverbal but showing all the signs of potty readiness. I knew, logically, that it was time. I tell parents every day that potty training is about commitment, not waiting for the perfect moment.

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But on the day I decided to start…
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I hesitated.
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I stood in the hallway, holding the pull-up, stomach in knots.

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Because I couldn’t stop thinking about the mess.
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“What if this doesn’t work?”
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“What if we push too soon?”
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“What if I get my hopes up, only to have them crushed?”
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I had spent so much time preparing. I had the process. I knew the steps.

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But in that moment, hope felt like a risk.

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This is exactly why so many parents struggle to take the leap, not just with potty training but with everything.
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It’s not about whether the child is ready.
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It’s about whether we are ready to believe in them.
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You’re Not Playing It Safe—You’re Playing It Small

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I see this happen all the time.

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Parents tell themselves they’re being “realistic”, but what’s actually happening is that they’re lowering their expectations as a shield against devastation.​
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Because if you go all in… and it doesn’t work?
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If you shoot your shot… and miss?
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If you let yourself hope—only to have that hope shattered?

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That kind of heartbreak feels unbearable.
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So instead, you say:

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​ “I’ve tried everything.” (Translation: You can’t handle trying one more thing and watching it fail.)​
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 “I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment.” (As if expecting less makes it hurt any less.)

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 “I need to be practical.” (As if playing small has ever led to big results.)

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But here’s the thing…

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You Don’t Get to the Goal Without Missing the Shot

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I can’t count how many times I’ve missed.
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How many times I’ve tried something with Julianna, only to watch it crash and burn.
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How many times I’ve had to sit in the pain of this didn’t work before I found what did.
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And if I had let those misses convince me the goal wasn’t possible, we wouldn’t be where we are today.​
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What if missing was just part of the process?
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Imagine watching a child learn to walk.
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Would you ever see them fall and think, “Well, I guess walking isn’t for them”?
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Of course not. Because falling isn’t proof that they can’t—it’s proof that they are learning.​
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Hope Isn’t a Gamble—It’s a Strategy​
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You have no guarantees in this life.

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You have no way of knowing exactly how far your child will go.

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But I do know this….
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I can’t think of a better way for you to show up as a parent than to believe in your child with your whole heart, no matter how the cards fall.

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That doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain.

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That doesn’t mean you won’t have moments of doubt.
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That doesn’t mean you won’t have to grieve expectations you once had.

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But if my choice is between protecting myself from disappointment or showing up fully for my child then…
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I’LL TAKE HEARTBREAK EVERY TIME! AND THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD TOO!

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Because I’d rather believe in my child and be wrong than doubt them and be right.​
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Xo Michelle

P.S. If you’re an action-taking parent—one who refuses to settle, who wants to push beyond the limits you didn’t even realize were there—then let’s talk.
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You already know the next step. The question is—are you going to take it?