I recently spoke to a mom who was interested in my program to help her potty train and get communication done for her 9 year old girl.
She told me that her daughter actually has used the toilet for both pee and poop.
Excited, I said “Great!” Why isn’t she fully potty trained then?”
Mom said it was.. “because everyone else keeps putting her in diapers.”
I then told her… “Everyone includes you.”
Then she immediately went on the defense and said..“you don’t understand I am a Stay at Home Mom and Dad keeps buying the diapers, no one thinks this can happen except for me, and I can’t do it if everyone else isn’t supporting me”
As a parent you can fight for your position to be right.
And whether what mom says here is true or not is inconsequential. It feels factual to her and now she’s fighting for it on the call with me.
but…
As mom digs her heels in she’s robbing her child of the chance of a life of independence that she deserves by continuing to feel like the victim who is being forced to put her kid in diapers.
The problem is that we are all born with the necessary equipment to fall into the “always be right” trap.
The compulsion to fight for an opinion that clearly keeps us stuck originates in fear.
But our brains aren’t wired for change, it’s scary to the brain.
And although you desperately want a potty trained communicating child, your brain’s job isn’t to give you what you want.
Your brain’s #1 job is to keep you safe.
So it will fight tooth and nail to keep you and your child in the cave AS KNOWN AS the life you are living now.
As parents of children with Autism we have 2 options…
You can fight for the position to be right – and things don’t change, you stay in pain, you feel unhelpable.
OR…
You can consider how fighting for being RIGHT is keeping you stuck and you seek out help to go from living a life where you are just surviving to living one where you and your child are THRIVING.
As your coach I am not in the business of playing tug of war with you.
There are more families that need help than I’ll ever be able to connect with.
My goal is to help families that want to be helped.
Not the ones who would rather win the debate.
xo
Michelle
P.S. If you’re feeling stuck but desperately want to help your baby now, this is my jam. Book a call HERE so I can hear more about your baby, tell you about my program and see if it makes sense to work together.
