Hi Michelle. Hope all is well.
I am dealing with the following as it relates to my son:
1) My son is able to urinate in the toilet but he is not able to tell us when he needs to go. We have a sign at the bathroom door, we make his communication device available and we use sign language for bathroom. Still no progress.
2) My son is not comfortable with pooping on the potty. When he runs upstairs for privacy, I run behind him to get him to the toilet. Even if it is a little poop in his pull up, I put him on the potty. However, he refuses to finish his BM even when waiting 5 minutes. What do you do in this situation?
3) What do you do with cloth underwear when your child’s bowel movement are loose and you have carpeted floors and light new furniture?
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Have a great day!
Regards,
Regina
Answer:
Hi Regina!
Okay a few things here, because I don't think we're as stuck as it feels.
1. I'm not worried yet about TJ independently telling you he has to pee.
Remember the order we talked about: first WE tell him when to go, we get lots and lots of successful reps where pee happens in the toilet and is rewarded, and THEN we start widening the amount of time between our reminders so he starts taking over that responsibility.
We can't run before we walk here.
So keep taking him consistently. Every time you take him, you can model/prompt the same communication, bathroom sign, AAC button, word/approximation, whatever you're using — so he keeps making that connection.
The fact that the sign and communication device are available doesn't necessarily mean he knows yet that he is expected to use them to initiate the bathroom. That's something we're going to teach through repetition and then fade our help.
QUESTION: Are you still rewarding him for pee eliminations... What is it.. on a scale from 1 to 10 how vaulable is it?
The whole point was to make that powerful reinforcer something he EARNS through toilet success. What is it and is it still being implemented?
QUESTION: for showing him what to prompt when he needs the toilet PICK ONE, either we use the shaking fist or the device and we make him make the sign or use the device hand over hand as we are taking him at set intervals to go to the bathroom
QUESTION: Does he stand to pee or sit? If he's standing then we have to practice sitting before we can expect poop elimination on the toilet. To do this, I would come up with a sit reward, use a command strip to attach a digital kitchen timer to the bathroom wall and pick a start time that is an easy win for him. One the time is up, he gets up and he gets an sit reward. THIS SHOULD BE VERY DIFFERENT then a sit reward. Elimination Rewards have to be that 10. A sit reward can be something fun, a balloon, a piggy back ride, etc.
2. The poop issue, I think we're catching him at the wrong point.
There is a time when your pooping I like to call the “point of no return”, it takes practice but you have to vigilant in watching for him to start and running him to finish on the toilet.
If he gets a little poop into the pull-up, you move him to the toilet, and then he can sit there for five minutes and completely stop the bowel movement, he's still able to hold it. I don't want this turning into a five-minute standoff on the toilet every day.
You guys have a predictable poop window correct? Is he still going during that time?
If that window is still accurate, I don't want to wait until TJ runs upstairs and then chase him. During that window, I want you ON HIM. Keep him downstairs/near the bathroom, limit his access to his normal hiding spots and watch for the signs.
We're trying to catch him later in that process, when his body is truly ready to go.
And remember if some starts in the underwear/pull-up but he FINISHES the bowel movement in the toilet, THAT COUNTS. Jackpot reward. That's exactly the bridge we're looking for.
3. Underwear + loose poop + white furniture = PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT.
I am NOT telling you to sacrifice your carpet and furniture in the name of potty training!
You can absolutely put waterproof/plastic covers over the underwear, use washable waterproof pads on the furniture, cover the areas he normally sits, and during that known poop window keep him in areas of the house that are easier to clean. I went to the dollar store got tarps when she had to be in a room with carpet or non leather furniture or I made sure to keep her out of that room at this stage.
We're protecting your house without making the pull-up the permanent answer.
One other thing: if by “loose” you mean his bowel movements are consistently very loose, not just occasionally, I would also mention that to his pediatrician. We can work the potty-training behavior all day long, but I also want his stool consistency where it should be. If he has loose stool its harder for them to poop train because even when we have upset stomachs we might not make it to the bathroom forget when its someone still learning. Does that make sense?
So your homework right now is NOT “make my son tell me when he has to pee.”
It's:
Lots of successful toilet reps.
Prompt the bathroom communication.
Reward elimination BIG.
Control that poop window instead of chasing him upstairs.
And make sure we're actually using his strongest reinforcer.
He's already showing us he KNOWS when he needs to poop because he gets up and seeks privacy. That's body awareness! Now we need to redirect that awareness into the bathroom.
Keep me posted!
Michelle
Hi Regina!
Okay a few things here, because I don’t think we’re as stuck as it feels.
1. I’m not worried yet about TJ independently telling you he has to pee.
Remember the order we talked about: first WE tell him when to go, we get lots and lots of successful reps where pee happens in the toilet and is rewarded, and THEN we start widening the amount of time between our reminders so he starts taking over that responsibility.
We can’t run before we walk here.
So keep taking him consistently. Every time you take him, you can model/prompt the same communication, bathroom sign, AAC button, word/approximation, whatever you’re using — so he keeps making that connection.
The fact that the sign and communication device are available doesn’t necessarily mean he knows yet that he is expected to use them to initiate the bathroom. That’s something we’re going to teach through repetition and then fade our help.
QUESTION: Are you still rewarding him for pee eliminations… What is it.. on a scale from 1 to 10 how vaulable is it?
The whole point was to make that powerful reinforcer something he EARNS through toilet success. What is it and is it still being implemented?
QUESTION: for showing him what to prompt when he needs the toilet PICK ONE, either we use the shaking fist or the device and we make him make the sign or use the device hand over hand as we are taking him at set intervals to go to the bathroom
QUESTION: Does he stand to pee or sit? If he’s standing then we have to practice sitting before we can expect poop elimination on the toilet. To do this, I would come up with a sit reward, use a command strip to attach a digital kitchen timer to the bathroom wall and pick a start time that is an easy win for him. One the time is up, he gets up and he gets an sit reward. THIS SHOULD BE VERY DIFFERENT then a sit reward. Elimination Rewards have to be that 10. A sit reward can be something fun, a balloon, a piggy back ride, etc.
2. The poop issue, I think we’re catching him at the wrong point.
There is a time when your pooping I like to call the “point of no return”, it takes practice but you have to vigilant in watching for him to start and running him to finish on the toilet.
If he gets a little poop into the pull-up, you move him to the toilet, and then he can sit there for five minutes and completely stop the bowel movement, he’s still able to hold it. I don’t want this turning into a five-minute standoff on the toilet every day.
You guys have a predictable poop window correct? Is he still going during that time?
If that window is still accurate, I don’t want to wait until TJ runs upstairs and then chase him. During that window, I want you ON HIM. Keep him downstairs/near the bathroom, limit his access to his normal hiding spots and watch for the signs.
We’re trying to catch him later in that process, when his body is truly ready to go.
And remember if some starts in the underwear/pull-up but he FINISHES the bowel movement in the toilet, THAT COUNTS. Jackpot reward. That’s exactly the bridge we’re looking for.
3. Underwear + loose poop + white furniture = PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT.
I am NOT telling you to sacrifice your carpet and furniture in the name of potty training!
You can absolutely put waterproof/plastic covers over the underwear, use washable waterproof pads on the furniture, cover the areas he normally sits, and during that known poop window keep him in areas of the house that are easier to clean. I went to the dollar store got tarps when she had to be in a room with carpet or non leather furniture or I made sure to keep her out of that room at this stage.
We’re protecting your house without making the pull-up the permanent answer.
One other thing: if by “loose” you mean his bowel movements are consistently very loose, not just occasionally, I would also mention that to his pediatrician. We can work the potty-training behavior all day long, but I also want his stool consistency where it should be. If he has loose stool its harder for them to poop train because even when we have upset stomachs we might not make it to the bathroom forget when its someone still learning. Does that make sense?
So your homework right now is NOT “make my son tell me when he has to pee.”
It’s:
Lots of successful toilet reps.
Prompt the bathroom communication.
Reward elimination BIG.
Control that poop window instead of chasing him upstairs.
And make sure we’re actually using his strongest reinforcer.
He’s already showing us he KNOWS when he needs to poop because he gets up and seeks privacy. That’s body awareness! Now we need to redirect that awareness into the bathroom.
Keep me posted!
Michelle