I was on the group call this morning and Michelle suggested taking my son and having him sit on the potty starting with 10-15 seconds and then adding 5 seconds each time. This itself was possible but he is obsessed with flushing the toilet while sitting on the potty and before sitting. He gets very agitated if I stop him from doing it, but I can’t have him sit there and continuously flush the toilet. Any suggestions on how to stop this repetitive behavior? Trying to avoid a negative experience while sitting on the toilet.
Answer:
so what a great built in reinforcer is my first thought! If he wants to flush he has to sit. If he gets pissed, tough cookies. First sit, timer goes off then flush. If I have to back the timer down to 5s or 3s so he gets the "first, then"
If he tries to flush while sitting, block access gently but firmly. Hands in lap. You can give him something else to hold — a preferred item, a fidget, anything to redirect his hands and keep the experience positive.
Set a visual timer for the sit duration. Let him know “When timer is done, potty is all done.”
After the timer ends, he earns a flush, but only after sitting calmly for the full time. You’re shifting the function of the toilet from a sensory button to a place where we sit, stay calm, and eventually use it for its real purpose.
And yes — he may resist this shift at first. But that’s okay. Stay calm. Stay consistent. Don’t let the tantrum around losing the flush reward deter you. This is just his way of saying “Hey, I liked the old system better!” That doesn’t mean this new system won’t work. It will. You just have to outlast the extinction burst.
Extinction burst (it might be worse before it gets better because he's use to having his way). Let me know if this is helpful. Michelle 🙂
so what a great built in reinforcer is my first thought! If he wants to flush he has to sit. If he gets pissed, tough cookies. First sit, timer goes off then flush. If I have to back the timer down to 5s or 3s so he gets the “first, then”
If he tries to flush while sitting, block access gently but firmly. Hands in lap. You can give him something else to hold — a preferred item, a fidget, anything to redirect his hands and keep the experience positive.
Set a visual timer for the sit duration. Let him know “When timer is done, potty is all done.”
After the timer ends, he earns a flush, but only after sitting calmly for the full time. You’re shifting the function of the toilet from a sensory button to a place where we sit, stay calm, and eventually use it for its real purpose.
And yes — he may resist this shift at first. But that’s okay. Stay calm. Stay consistent. Don’t let the tantrum around losing the flush reward deter you. This is just his way of saying “Hey, I liked the old system better!” That doesn’t mean this new system won’t work. It will. You just have to outlast the extinction burst.
Extinction burst (it might be worse before it gets better because he’s use to having his way). Let me know if this is helpful. Michelle 🙂
Thank you!
XO