Hello,
How do I manage my son screaming? I am not sure if it is because he is in pain (we are currently awaiting results to see if this is the case) or because I say no to things like television. I do not want to give in when I have said no but sometimes it is a lot.
Thank you.
Answer:
Thank you for your question! We definitely want to rule out a medical cause before beginning a behavioral intervention. So I want you to hold off on my recommendations until you get the results you are waiting for and share them with us. Please complete a "follow up comment" and give me some scenarios in which the screaming is occurring. Does it ever occur out of no where? Or is it usually in response to you saying "no" to things like television, like you mentioned? This will help me determine the function of the behavior AKA the reason it is occurring. Also, please let me know how old your son is and what mode of communication he uses (ex. verbal, non-verbal, sign language, PECS, AAC device, etc.).
Thank you in advance!
~ Coach Stacy
Thank you for your question! We definitely want to rule out a medical cause before beginning a behavioral intervention. So I want you to hold off on my recommendations until you get the results you are waiting for and share them with us. Please complete a “follow up comment” and give me some scenarios in which the screaming is occurring. Does it ever occur out of no where? Or is it usually in response to you saying “no” to things like television, like you mentioned? This will help me determine the function of the behavior AKA the reason it is occurring. Also, please let me know how old your son is and what mode of communication he uses (ex. verbal, non-verbal, sign language, PECS, AAC device, etc.).
Thank you in advance!
~ Coach Stacy
Thank you Coach Stacy.
He recently turned 7 and we have been using PECS to communicate to some degree. He is able to give me the cards for things he wants or leads me to where they are. He also responds to some words and he is pre-verbal.
For instance, he is playing with his toys happily, not showing any signs of frustration or anything, and the next instance he starts squinting and crying. He starts softly and then lunges towards you aiming for the top of your shirt. Of course you don’t allow him and then he starts screaming. This lasts for less than 5 minutes and then he goes back to whatever it was he was doing. It can happen anytime, anywhere – while he is eating, in the car, in church etc. He will always look for the person nearby and attempt to grab their shirt while he is screaming at the top of his lungs.
Often times when I say “no” to him attacking me, he intensifies the efforts to grab my shirt while grinding his teeth at the same time. It seems as though the “no” annoys him.
Other times it occurs might be when he brings his PECS for TV or iPad and I say no. The reactions are somewhat the same except this time it is not as abrupt.
Finally, when I attempt to calm him down, he puts my hands around his head, sometimes to cover his ears, and wants to be held in an embrace. Sometimes he puts his head in my shirt and stays that way for a few seconds. He can also stop by himself as abruptly as he started.
Thank you.
So sorry for the delay, I did not see your follow up comment! So it seems like sometimes he is upset and wants some physical attention and sometimes it is in response to being told “no.” For the abrupt times that it seems to come out of no where I would have him practice asking for a hug with his PECS cards. Teach it to him outside of times that he is upset. So just randomly throughout the day ask him if he wants a hug, have him touch his “hug” PECS card, and give him a hug. You can also remind him that he can ask for a hug whenever he wants. The next time he is upset, do your best to not allow him to touch you until he touches his “hug” card. Make a few copies of the “hug” card to have around the house or just make sure his PECS book/pictures are always with him and available.
For responding to “no” practice not saying “no” if that seems to be the main trigger. For example, “not right now” or “How about we do this instead?” Also, make sure if it is TV or the iPad that he wants that you have something fun that you can redirect him to. “Not right now, but let’s go color together!” That way he is not getting denied with no where to go, he can do a different fun activity.
Try both of these for a week or two and let me know how it goes. Good luck! 🙂