I have a HUGE DENTAL PHOBIA.
It started when I was a kid when no matter how much I brushed I would get cavities.
And my dentist was NOT good with children.
I remember him like Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors, a dentist who enjoyed inflicting pain.
Every visit I would dread.
I couldn’t sleep the night before.
When his drill would start, I would scream and cry the entire time… even with the funny gas mask on.
And he’d just keep leaning on me to not move while he was doing his thing.
My mom just waited in the waiting room, hearing the ordeal and not intervening.
This phobia I’ve carried with me as an adult, and to this day I put off all work on my teeth to the absolute point of no return.
I get myself to the place where the pain of the tooth is worse than living with the discomfort of addressing the phobia for weeks, months, or years.
I feel like parents of children with Autism can be the same.
You know you need to potty train but just keep putting on the diapers.
You know you should get them communicating but just let them hand lead you to the pantry.
You really want to be able to go to the park but stay home because you don’t want to deal with your child running away.
You get COMFORTABLE being uncomfortable.
But here is the problem with this type of living..
It’s a life where outside circumstances, the tooth decaying to a point it needs to be pulled or…..
Your child’s lack of life skills backs you both into a corner and you either have to solve it scrambling from a white knuckle panic space and/or accept the outcome of the life you both have to live because of it.
It’s living the one life we all get in survival mode.
Constantly putting out the fires or running away from them.
And you and your child never get the opportunity to live a thriving life.
I can get the root canal, the crown, OR lose the tooth.
You can potty train your child OR accept the fact you will need to change their piss and shit diapers for the rest of your lives.
You can teach them to communicate OR accept the fact that they’ll need to live in a group home when you’re gone.
And here is the thing, it’s not that potty training and communication can’t happen.
Because I’ve yet to meet a child who can’t learn both skills.
The question you need to ask yourself is….
Do you want to continue to live a life where change doesn’t happen till you’re backed into a corner and/or outside circumstances decide for you?
Do you want to be the one making the decisions at every step?
When you DECIDE that you want a THRIVING life vs a Surviving One, that’s when we can take the wheel and have the greatest impact for yourself and your child.
I am a God fearing woman.
And I always imagine standing in front of the gates of heaven and God is playing back the reel of my life for us to watch
Are we both going to be happy with what we see?
When it comes to being a parent who goes balls to the wall for her cubs, I know I will.
What about you?
All said with love.
P.S. Have you got comfortable living a surviving life vs a thriving one for you and your child? If you want to make BIG CHANGES, that is what my Group Coaching Program is all about. Book your complimentary consultation call here, so I can hear all about you and your child, tell you about my program and see if it makes sense to work together.