If only I had done THIS sooner
A parent in my Masterclass recently asked me a question that I never think much about.
“When it comes to your daughter with Autism, is there anything you wish you would have done sooner?”
I had to really think about this before I could respond.
One of the reasons I struggled to answer it is because I don’t dwell on the “what ifs” or the “shoulda woulda couldas”.
And the reason I don’t is I can’t change the past. No one can.
I want my mental energy to be focused on what I can change, which is the decisions I make NOW and in the future.
Another reason this was so hard for me to answer is because I believe the things I did that didn’t work was exactly what I needed at the time to move forward.
One of the biggest things I teach my clients is that as long as you’re ”doing”, there are no bad decisions.
We are either learning or winning.
Every setback, anything I tried that didn’t work ISN’T A PROBLEM.
It was a stepping stone that brought me closer to what would work.
But if I am honest with myself, had I gotten on board sooner than I was ready for my daughter, I would have been in the worst shape to help her.
I was only ready when I finally took her to the pediatrician.
That’s because at that point…
-Early Intervention Services had been going for 4 months and she seemed to be getting worse not better.
-She almost got kicked out of nursery school because she would cry nonstop and was not be able to follow class routines or instructions.
-And although I swore I would never let that psychologist back in my home after he said she needed those early intervention services to begin with, I couldn’t shake his final comment to me as he walked out the door, which was…
“If she gets worse or there is no progress, you can call me back in.”
All these things had to happen for me to be able to move forward.
When we made it to that 2 year old wellness visit with our pediatrician, only then was I ready to shakily ask him … “You don’t think she’s behind do you?”
And he said “Is she using 20 words with intent?”
“No” I said sadly.
“Then she’s definitely behind.” he said.
That was my GUT PUNCH, MY WAKEUP CALL.
That was the moment I needed to call that Psychologist back who then diagnosed Julianna on the Autism Spectrum.
If someone dragged me to that spot before that very moment I would have RESISTED HARD and SHUT DOWN.
I wasn’t ready to hear it before then, and if someone forced me to, I wouldn’t have been ready to help her.
In fact, part of me believes that the psychologist left with that parting message 4 months earlier because he was sure already, but knew I wasn’t ready to hear it.
So for any parents who are struggling to take a step forward now to help their babies, PART OF ME DOES WANT TO DRAG YOU TO IT.
But, I know that until you are willing to take that first step, I can’t take it for you.
But … if you are ready to take one tiny step, I will HOLD YOUR HAND the rest of the way.
Because the moment I stepped into my power, accepted this was what I had to work with, was the moment things started to change for my girl.
And if I can’t drag you to ACTION then I want to leave you with something that might have made me move FASTER than I did, and it was one simple thought I teach to all of the families I work with to this day.
That thought is….
That Autism is different, not less.
Your child can live an amazing independent life and have autism.
So If you are still struggling with your thoughts about Autism, I want to give you this thought, it’s a precious gift.
Now go out and do something with it.
P.S. If you are worried about the future for your child with Autism, I want to invite you to book a complimentary 30-minute consultation call, where I want to hear about your baby, I’ll tell you about my program, and we’ll make a decision if it makes sense to work together.
P.P.S. Shout out to my Masterclass Student Elizabeth, who posted this in our Facebook community…