Our daughter has never had aggressive behavior. However, in the last month or so she has gotten a little forceful with tapping people for attention. To other people it looks like she is hitting which I honestly don’t think is her intention. As she’s getting bigger, her normal tapping to get people’s attention is more forceful since she is stronger now (she is almost age 7). She often does it to get someone’s attention, but now I had a friend think she was hitting my arm when we were all at a restaurant together. I do remind her to say a person’s name or use a word instead (she is verbal, but doesn’t use a lot of words). So for me she could say “momma” rather than forcefully tapping. I know a lot of this probably stems from not always having the right words of what she wants to say. She did it to my dad the other day when he was sitting on the sofa and she wanted him to come with her in the other room. I’m not sure how to redirect her the right way.
Answer:
Hi,
Thank you for your question. I just wanted to say that it's great your daughter is interested in interacting with others. However, it does seem that you may be correct in your assumption that she may not know how to appropriately obtain other people's attention.
I recommend that you observe your daughter more closely when she is around others. Try to notice any signs or actions that she displays before going over to get someone's attention. Children tend to stand close to others or follow them as they move from one place to another before they try to engage with them. These observations can help you understand her behavior better, enabling you to subtly prompt her to seek other's attention before she approaches them in a way that may seem unpleasant to others.
The other suggestion I would like to make is to teach her to gently tap someone on the shoulder or use her index finger to lightly touch their shoulder to get their attention. You may also want to teach her how to call someone by their name or to learn to ask that question to others. To help her learn these skills, I would plan to create opportunities for her to practice getting other people's attention in a controlled setting first such as with friends and family. Practicing this will teach her what to do in more social situations.
Hi,
Thank you for your question. I just wanted to say that it’s great your daughter is interested in interacting with others. However, it does seem that you may be correct in your assumption that she may not know how to appropriately obtain other people’s attention.
I recommend that you observe your daughter more closely when she is around others. Try to notice any signs or actions that she displays before going over to get someone’s attention. Children tend to stand close to others or follow them as they move from one place to another before they try to engage with them. These observations can help you understand her behavior better, enabling you to subtly prompt her to seek other’s attention before she approaches them in a way that may seem unpleasant to others.
The other suggestion I would like to make is to teach her to gently tap someone on the shoulder or use her index finger to lightly touch their shoulder to get their attention. You may also want to teach her how to call someone by their name or to learn to ask that question to others. To help her learn these skills, I would plan to create opportunities for her to practice getting other people’s attention in a controlled setting first such as with friends and family. Practicing this will teach her what to do in more social situations.
Thank you, these are all great tips! Learning how to gently tap is something I need to figure out how to do better. I always say “gentle” when she is aggressive, but probably should do hand over hand to get her down to a single finger tap or even a lighter tap. She doesn’t say everyone’s names, but she does use names for my husband and I and her grandparents, so I’ll try the vocalization for her too. It is hit and miss on when she chooses to say names, but I will work on the ones she does use more frequently.