Help with a new trigger for ME

I’m working through the Master Class and I recognize for the third day in a row that as I’m learning about a new topic I’m starting to feel anxiety. I feel it as a sort of heaviness I have to breathe through, and then I am doing that for so long that I start to hyperventilate, which creates symptoms such as light headedness and tingling starting in my extremities, but which can actually turn to numbness and eventually involuntary muscle cramping, seeing stars, teeth chattering. It’s pretty scary…but a typical panic attack. I’ve had them for 35 years. So, “Hello, old friend.”

What is happening is that the new information is overwhelming me. And much of it isn’t NEW information, so I can’t exactly figure out the trigger. Today I thought maybe it was just one of my regular triggers – time. I see these babies in Early Intensive Intervention and I’m wracked with guilt and shame that I didn’t push harder – even though I’ve accepted that it was not the right path for us then. And maybe be it is just I feel like time has become my enemy now, like it never has been before, and I really don’t like to have enemies? But I can’t figure out why this continues to get in the way of my learning.

My biggest fear is that I will die before my son can communicate his wants and needs and as function as an individual. I do what I can to take care of myself so that I will be alive for as long as that takes. So what’s the my problem? The attack has passed just writing this out, which I knew it might. But the question remains: can a coach offer advice on how I can work through this issue? I know if it keeps blocking my progress it’s inevitably stunting the progress of my goals for my son.

Answer:

First, isn't it amazing that you've discovered a way to make the panic attack disappear? You just have to sit down and write out what you're experiencing. The fact that you have a way out feels great, doesn't it? It will also make the likelihood of these attacks smaller now that you've come up with a cure by yourself.

Let's play around with this thought you have, "The new information is overwhelming me."

To make it even worse, you then immediately start arguing with yourself. It sounds something like, "It shouldn't even overwhelm me so much, as the information isn't that new."

If we run a Model on this thought, it could look like this:

Circumstance: Info in Masterclass
Thought: The info overwhelms me
Feeling: Panic
Actions: Hyperventilate, get a panic attack, tell yourself the info is not that new, so you shouldn't feel overwhelmed, beat yourself up for not starting interventions earlier, obsess over the possibility that you could die before your son is independent, tell yourself something like, you don't have a lot of time, you'd better master this fast
Result: You overwhelm yourself with your own thinking

For a minute, just sit with this Model you are creating. Don't try to change it. Just see for yourself what is happening here. My guess is that the trigger is the thought, "The info overwhelms me."

There is great wisdom in the sentence: slow down to speed up. Slow yourself down, slow your mastering of the material down, and even slow down your experience of the panic attack by writing down how it feels.

And only then, see if you can come up with a new thought when you encounter the new material. It can even have just a slight tweak, such as:

T: The new info overwhelms me at first, but I can figure it out

Then, run your own model and see if that thought shifts your feelings and actions, creating a different outcome for you.

You are welcome to return to Ask A Coach if you want more coaching.

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1 thought on “Help with a new trigger for ME”

  1. First, isn’t it amazing that you’ve discovered a way to make the panic attack disappear? You just have to sit down and write out what you’re experiencing. The fact that you have a way out feels great, doesn’t it? It will also make the likelihood of these attacks smaller now that you’ve come up with a cure by yourself.

    Let’s play around with this thought you have, “The new information is overwhelming me.”

    To make it even worse, you then immediately start arguing with yourself. It sounds something like, “It shouldn’t even overwhelm me so much, as the information isn’t that new.”

    If we run a Model on this thought, it could look like this:

    Circumstance: Info in Masterclass
    Thought: The info overwhelms me
    Feeling: Panic
    Actions: Hyperventilate, get a panic attack, tell yourself the info is not that new, so you shouldn’t feel overwhelmed, beat yourself up for not starting interventions earlier, obsess over the possibility that you could die before your son is independent, tell yourself something like, you don’t have a lot of time, you’d better master this fast
    Result: You overwhelm yourself with your own thinking

    For a minute, just sit with this Model you are creating. Don’t try to change it. Just see for yourself what is happening here. My guess is that the trigger is the thought, “The info overwhelms me.”

    There is great wisdom in the sentence: slow down to speed up. Slow yourself down, slow your mastering of the material down, and even slow down your experience of the panic attack by writing down how it feels.

    And only then, see if you can come up with a new thought when you encounter the new material. It can even have just a slight tweak, such as:

    T: The new info overwhelms me at first, but I can figure it out

    Then, run your own model and see if that thought shifts your feelings and actions, creating a different outcome for you.

    You are welcome to return to Ask A Coach if you want more coaching.

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