When my son is frustrated (or doesn’t get the answer he wants), his reaction is to hit the person delivering the answer (or the one closest to him). His behaviors are a lot less intense and happen less often, but this reaction has been pretty consistent.
Answer:
Please let me know if your son is verbal or non-verbal in a follow-up comment. First thing we need to do is teach him how to deal with being frustrated or denied access (doesn't get the answer he wants). As far as being frustrated we can teach him to say, "I'm mad!" either verbally, with sign language, a picture card, etc. You can practice this throughout the day. Set up mild situations where you know he is going to be frustrated and tell him, "Don't forget, if you are upset you can say, "I'm mad!" You will probably have to prompt the response in the beginning. Next is to teach coping techniques for when he is frustrated or gets told no. He can ask to take a break or I like to work on "problem solving." I also try not to say "no" if that is the root of the problem behavior. If the answer is "no" I will try to answer with some other options to redirect him. For example, if he wants to go outside, but it's not available I will say, "Sorry not right now, but we can play a game or watch some TV instead!" Definitely try to have fun alternatives and provide lots of praise if he tolerates the denied access in the absence of hitting. "I like how nicely you kept it together!" OR "I like that you kept your hands to yourself when outside wasn't available!" Something like that! Try this and let us know how it goes!
Please let me know if your son is verbal or non-verbal in a follow-up comment. First thing we need to do is teach him how to deal with being frustrated or denied access (doesn’t get the answer he wants). As far as being frustrated we can teach him to say, “I’m mad!” either verbally, with sign language, a picture card, etc. You can practice this throughout the day. Set up mild situations where you know he is going to be frustrated and tell him, “Don’t forget, if you are upset you can say, “I’m mad!” You will probably have to prompt the response in the beginning. Next is to teach coping techniques for when he is frustrated or gets told no. He can ask to take a break or I like to work on “problem solving.” I also try not to say “no” if that is the root of the problem behavior. If the answer is “no” I will try to answer with some other options to redirect him. For example, if he wants to go outside, but it’s not available I will say, “Sorry not right now, but we can play a game or watch some TV instead!” Definitely try to have fun alternatives and provide lots of praise if he tolerates the denied access in the absence of hitting. “I like how nicely you kept it together!” OR “I like that you kept your hands to yourself when outside wasn’t available!” Something like that! Try this and let us know how it goes!