“Your Child Doesn’t Care To Be Dirty”

We just adopted a sweet black lab puppy, and let me tell you, I’ve been feeling like a mom of a newborn again.

Last night I was up taking her out to go potty at 1 a.m., then again at 5:30 a.m. and I’m running on fumes.

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But as I was walking around my damp grass in the dark in my PJs and Flip Flops, I thought about something you all tell me as the reason that you can’t potty train your child, which is that potty training is a struggle or can’t happen because “You’re child doesn’t care if they are dirty.”​
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If you think the thought “Your child doesn’t care if they’re dirty.” It feels as if this is true, unchangeable, and the outcome of potty training is completely out of your grasp.

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It becomes a roadblock you can’t get past.

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AND when “you do the potty things” you’re doing it from a place that you’ve failed before you’ve begun. The action you take is half assed and you’ll start and stop over and over.

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But here’s the truth—whether your child cares or not isn’t the issue.

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The real question is: Do you believe you have the power to train them anyway?

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Do I think my puppy cares if she pees inside or outside? Nope, not one bit.
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Do I think she cares if she gets her paws dirty or messes up the floor? Absolutely not.
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But that’s not stopping me from potty training her.
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I’m confident in the process.
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I’ve got treats in my pocket.
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I’m collecting data on when she eats and drinks, and I KNOW that if I’m consistent, she’ll learn.

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I BELIEVE Eventually, she’ll only want to go outside.
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The process of potty training your child doesn’t hinge on whether they care. It hinges on whether you commit to showing up, setting up a system, and sticking to it.
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The problem isn’t your child’s lack of concern about being dirty—it’s that we’ve made that the reason potty training feels impossible. But that’s a story we’re telling ourselves, and it’s keeping us stuck.
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​Whether they care or not is irrelevant. What matters is that you take control of the process and see it through no matter what.
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So next time you think, “My Child doesn’t care to be dirty,” ask yourself this:
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Does that thought make you feel powerless? And if it does, why are you choosing to stay there?
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Because you’re not powerless.
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Just like I’m confident I can potty train my puppy, my cats, my children, and thousands of kids on the spectrum, you can choose to be CONFIDENT you can potty train your child.​
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If you believe in the process, if you commit to consistency, it’s going to work. THE RESULT IS INEVITABLE. ​
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It’s not about what your child cares about in the moment—it’s about the system you create and stick to until they learn.

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P.S. Want help creating a potty training process that works? This is what we do together in my group coaching program. Let’s have a conversation and see if working together makes sense. You’re one conversation away from getting your child on the path to independence.