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Michelle B. Rogers
Autism Mom, Life Coach

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Hiding and holding

257 Comments / By /

Hello,
My daughter is going to potty to do pee pretty willingly. She gets motivated by getting g m&ms after she does pee on potty. But 💩 is a problem every time I’m catching her about to do it and moving her on potty – she is holding it and not going … she hold it for 3 days and she found that 1 min when I was not walking around her and she hide in closet and went poop in diaper. Then she came to me and announced it loud ))) reinforcer for poo isn’t working looks like – it is game on iPad – she doesn’t have access to it unless she does poop on potty but because it’s not happening she is kind of switched off on it … we give her just on weekend to play on iPad but not that game – do I have to fully remove iPad ? And what would be your advice to help her go to poop ? I see she is scared of it when it’s coming out her and she is freaking out to flash it right away … thanks

Answer:

First off, excellent job on pee training! She's on her way, and we just need to stay the course! If you haven’t already, go listen to my podcast episode called “All About Poop”—it’s packed with helpful tips.

Let’s Talk Constipation
Constipation is normal during potty training, so don’t panic. What I would do is give her foods that make holding it in harder—think prunes, fiber, George’s Aloe Vera Juice, or Calm Magnesium. (Always check with your doctor first!) Keeping her stool soft will help make this process much smoother for her.

No More Hiding in Closets
If you know she’s due based on her cues or schedule, don’t let her sneak away to poop in a closet. You’ve got to keep her in sight during those critical moments. And let’s go all in on potty training—no dipping our toes in here! That means NO DIAPERS OR PULL-UPS, except for nighttime or naps, and even then, take them off immediately when she wakes up and put her on the potty.

Adjust the iPad Reward
You’re absolutely right—the iPad isn’t motivating enough for pooping. Let’s switch up how she gets access:

5 minutes for peeing
30 minutes for pooping
And here’s the key: She doesn’t get the iPad at any other time. That exclusivity makes it much more valuable.
Catching Her at the Right Moment
If you see her starting to poop and rush her to the toilet but she holds it, no big deal. Give her a few minutes on the potty (no more than 5), then take her off and keep a close eye because she’ll likely try again soon.

Here’s the trick: The next time you see the cue, wait a few extra seconds. There’s a point of no return when pooping starts—once it’s happening, she can’t stop it (gross, I know, but true). That’s when you move her to the potty and let her finish there.

Address the Anxiety
If she’s nervous or upset about pooping, figure out where the anxiety is coming from:

Is it the splash of the water on her butt?
Is it that she didn’t get to do it her way?
Or is it just that the process is new and she needs practice?
Reassure her: “It’s okay, you’re doing great!” Remind her that the iPad is waiting as soon as she’s done.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions—I’m here for you. 😊

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257 thoughts on “Hiding and holding”

  1. Coach

    First off, excellent job on pee training! She’s on her way, and we just need to stay the course! If you haven’t already, go listen to my podcast episode called “All About Poop”—it’s packed with helpful tips.

    Let’s Talk Constipation
    Constipation is normal during potty training, so don’t panic. What I would do is give her foods that make holding it in harder—think prunes, fiber, George’s Aloe Vera Juice, or Calm Magnesium. (Always check with your doctor first!) Keeping her stool soft will help make this process much smoother for her.

    No More Hiding in Closets
    If you know she’s due based on her cues or schedule, don’t let her sneak away to poop in a closet. You’ve got to keep her in sight during those critical moments. And let’s go all in on potty training—no dipping our toes in here! That means NO DIAPERS OR PULL-UPS, except for nighttime or naps, and even then, take them off immediately when she wakes up and put her on the potty.

    Adjust the iPad Reward
    You’re absolutely right—the iPad isn’t motivating enough for pooping. Let’s switch up how she gets access:

    5 minutes for peeing
    30 minutes for pooping
    And here’s the key: She doesn’t get the iPad at any other time. That exclusivity makes it much more valuable.
    Catching Her at the Right Moment
    If you see her starting to poop and rush her to the toilet but she holds it, no big deal. Give her a few minutes on the potty (no more than 5), then take her off and keep a close eye because she’ll likely try again soon.

    Here’s the trick: The next time you see the cue, wait a few extra seconds. There’s a point of no return when pooping starts—once it’s happening, she can’t stop it (gross, I know, but true). That’s when you move her to the potty and let her finish there.

    Address the Anxiety
    If she’s nervous or upset about pooping, figure out where the anxiety is coming from:

    Is it the splash of the water on her butt?
    Is it that she didn’t get to do it her way?
    Or is it just that the process is new and she needs practice?
    Reassure her: “It’s okay, you’re doing great!” Remind her that the iPad is waiting as soon as she’s done.

    I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions—I’m here for you. 😊

    Reply

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