We are doing a 3 day stay inside intense potty training and we go to the bathroom every 15 minutes sometimes 10 minutes if we think it coming. When I see him starting to go pee I have been picking him up and setting him in the potty and saying this is it where it goes.. then he kind of stops peeing.. is it better to let him finish out and say uh oh that’s an accident and have him help me clean it. And then try to catch the next one?
On day one he did pee 4 times in the potty and because I saw it kind of going and he stops I know there is more in there.
2) question if time, He at this point does not know how to verbalize his needs to go, or even sign language but every time now I say it’s potty time he knows we are going in the bathroom. That being said at the end of the 3 days when we do go outside to play or if I do take him to the museum do I stick with the underwear ? Or play it safe with pull ups until he can communicate he has to go.
Answer:
You’re doing a fantastic job, Mama! Here’s how I’d adjust things to keep you on track:
Catching Pee in the Potty: Keep doing what you’re doing—rushing him to the potty when you notice he’s starting to pee. As long as any drops make it into the toilet, celebrate it and reward him. Make it super clear: “When pee goes in the potty, you get [insert reward].” The key is to reward the act of elimination in the potty, even if it’s not everything he’s got.
The reward system might need a tweak, though. If the iPad is currently being used to sit, it’s losing its power as a motivator. Instead, save the iPad only for elimination—pee earns 5 minutes, poop gets 30 minutes. This keeps the reward crystal clear and tied to the behavior we’re reinforcing. You can also encourage him while he’s sitting: “You’ll get the iPad when you squeeze all the pee out!”
Underwear vs. Pull-Ups: We don’t move to underwear outside the house until you’re seeing at least 80% success at home. For now, stick with pull-ups for outings like the museum or park, but treat them like underwear—still take him to the bathroom regularly but it doesn't have to be as intense of a schedule so you can enjoy your outings. The moment you’re back home, pull-ups off, diaper-free, and straight back into the routine.
You’re absolutely killing it with your energy and focus—keep going! 💪
Michelle
You’re doing a fantastic job, Mama! Here’s how I’d adjust things to keep you on track:
Catching Pee in the Potty: Keep doing what you’re doing—rushing him to the potty when you notice he’s starting to pee. As long as any drops make it into the toilet, celebrate it and reward him. Make it super clear: “When pee goes in the potty, you get [insert reward].” The key is to reward the act of elimination in the potty, even if it’s not everything he’s got.
The reward system might need a tweak, though. If the iPad is currently being used to sit, it’s losing its power as a motivator. Instead, save the iPad only for elimination—pee earns 5 minutes, poop gets 30 minutes. This keeps the reward crystal clear and tied to the behavior we’re reinforcing. You can also encourage him while he’s sitting: “You’ll get the iPad when you squeeze all the pee out!”
Underwear vs. Pull-Ups: We don’t move to underwear outside the house until you’re seeing at least 80% success at home. For now, stick with pull-ups for outings like the museum or park, but treat them like underwear—still take him to the bathroom regularly but it doesn’t have to be as intense of a schedule so you can enjoy your outings. The moment you’re back home, pull-ups off, diaper-free, and straight back into the routine.
You’re absolutely killing it with your energy and focus—keep going! 💪
Michelle
Thanks for the feedback – the only way I have been able get him to sit on the toilet was to let him watch my iPhone – (I’m holding) so I put the IPad in the bathroom like a little tv….
I tried everything books, toys, he just kept fighting me and would not sit ..
He also hates washing his hands but he loosened up a little bit by the fourth time we did after his fourth pee..
I give him a 1/3 a cookie which is what he reallly really likes when he pees. And then if he poops he is getting a full cookie.
I can try modify though and ween away from the iPad to get him on the toilet doing other things.
Ok and so when he is 80 percent peeing on his own in the potty? Then we can remove outdoor pull ups.
So i want to say again.. so impressed you already got some elimination. It’s HUGGGE
The reason I like to use the ipad as the elimination reward is because its value is so high. I don’t want to waste it. Also I dont like it for sitting because when he gets sucked in, he missed the subtleties of nature calling.
What I love of my potty process is it teaches you how to get instructional control with your child. I also want you to make this change because you’re white knuckling it the way you’re doing it now..can it work yes, is it the easiest way to goal, no. I want to keep you and him motivated. This is happening!! So this is how I’d switch it up and AGAIN You are a ROCK STAR!!! This will just make things flow better.
I want you to go get a Meat Timer and command strip it to the wall in the bathroom. I want you to practice getting him to sit happily on the toilet and we can start with an easy win like 5 seconds, then every time the timer goes off, he gets the reward, I would do a switch-a-roo on your reward system… and make the sit reward a tiny cookie for a sit. Then whenever he wants something in the house, could be a toy, going outside, another snack, etc. you say “ok lets go sit and you get … cookie, outside, etc” then each time you go get him to sit you add 5 seconds to the timer (dont tell him just do it). Ideally we want him happily sitting without you having to hold him there, hover, him crying/whinning etc, for 3-5 minutes enough for a pee or poop to happen. In the meantime make that ipad vanish after he goes to bed and make it disappear till we are ready to do an intensive again or he eliminates. You can tell him when he practices sitting that if he goes you might find it, etc. Make some shit up – i want to encourage him to keep going but also create high desire for the ipad by not giving it to him so much. Focus more here on instructional control vs. the potty intensive. He can be in the pull up for this but you can do the underwear too might make things click just make it more clean up for you. We can reset and do another potty intensive once he sits for that 3 min mark. Let me know if that makes sense. But so far so FABULOUS! xo Michelle
Ok I think I get and actually read your 1st message and though fuck it I’m it gonna even start with the iPad I’ll take some fun toys in there and it worked for a little got him to sit 4 times without the ipad no pee but no accidents so maybe he didn’t have to go. – no pee but then I had to go run to my meeting just getting done with meeting my sister said he pee one time with her I’ll try to catch you on the call – to listen in – been insanely crazy over here but excited! Thank you – the mind shift is real!!
One last question I was gonna do the whole stay inside for three days and so far we are on day two once we decide to take him outside to play at our house. Is it OK to keep him in underwear? That way we know if he has an accident, we can encourage him to go inside.
I get definitely when we go out in public will do pull-ups but was just curious about if he’s outside playing at our house..
Was thinking we could even tell him to just pull down and he is a boy lol
80% success or better I go full underwear and pack change of clothes. Just outside the house, underwear. You’re both doing great.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!