Did you slay the Autism Monster?

I was recently speaking to a mother about her son with Autism. She was describing the pain she feels every day and she desperately wants him to start communicating and potty training.

I shared with her how I was able to take my daughter Julianna, who was diagnosed with moderate to severe Autism from having no language to teaching her sign language.

Potty training with signs, making sounds, to saying one word to where she is today, a chatty happy 10-year-old in a general education call with neuro-typical peers.

This mom was excited to hear this and then asked 

“Did you slay the Autism Monster?”

I speak to a lot of parents and sometimes even after doing this work for so long but hearing their pain be described this way stops me cold.

I envisioned the monsters we all thought were under our beds as kids.

As soon as I shut off the light and walked out of my daughter’s bedroom,

It grabbed her in her sleep.

Truly frightening indeed.

I asked her…

“How does it feel to think your child is being held captive by an Autism Monster”?

She said it felt like…

“It was this soul-sucking just happening to her every minute of every day weighing on her and that her existence was filled with heartbreak.”

I just ached for her and her child.

I told her…

“You can’t work on getting your son potty trained or communicating if you believe he’s already gone.”

She agreed but said…

“If I was being honest, who would want to live like this?”

But the thing is posing shitty questions like that to yourself doesn’t change the fact that Autism is here.

It’s just creating more unnecessary suffering for her as the parent because while she’s spinning out in the mental mud,

No one is at the wheel helping her baby now.

You can’t come to me asking the questions of HOW to get your child potty trained

Or

Communicating if you’ve quit believing it is possible before the work has begun.

If you feel like this mom then the work doesn’t start with “the things to do with your baby”,

Which has to start with believing in your baby.

Understand that the reason why this mother’s child is not potty trained or communicating is not solely due to his Autism.

Instead, it is the result of her preoccupation with negative thoughts like

“my child is lost to the monster”

As a result it consumes all of her time and attention.

If this is how you feel you have to stop spending all day every day thinking this crap and start thinking thoughts that will get you moving to help your child NOW.

I asked this mom…

“Tell me what his strengths are,  and what makes you love him so much?”

She lit right up and talked about how he loves to cuddle, he’s smart,

Knows his letters and numbers, and loves music. He is a happy child.

If you want your child to communicate and potty train you need to spend more time thinking the thoughts that fill you up with love and excitement

And less time fighting the Autism Monster.

When I was worried about Julianna and I felt down I would think myself out of pain by remembering where she was 6 months ago,

Reading her old communication logs from her therapists (I still do this),

Knowing that despite all our challenges it could have been so much worse.

Thinking things like this kept my mind clean and grateful.

Intentionally spending more time in your mind where you want your results to be will not only be the first step in helping your baby thrive,

But you’ll finally be able to shine the flashlight under your baby’s bed to truly see the monster that was never real. It was all in your mind.

And only then can you take the actions to help your baby.

xoxo

Michelle

P.S. Looking to help your baby NOW but don’t know where to start? Reach out to us at info@michellebrogers.com to learn more about my Champions for Our Children Masterclass, which will teach you the foundational steps to helping your baby get potty trained, communicating, and stopping those problem behaviors fast.